WALT: To write a descriptive story
my story : A murder in a building
One day I walked past an old rusty building I went in there a very big sound came from nowhere. The walls where were black and horrible. While i was walking around a paper was under my foot I picked it up and read it, it was about a murder that happened in the building. In 1997 a man called steven got murdered by a drunken man, the drunken man stabbed the knife in steven’s stomach so that’s how he died. I walked and I found the knife that steven has been stabbed with . Another large sound came and new that steven turned into a ghost so that was the sound It was nearly night so I went back home. Once I went home I showed the newspaper to mum and she said how did you find the paper then i told her what happened today.
Self assessment: Thing I have done well : I used describing words
I need to work on: I need to use more punctuation
Peer assessment: I like how you have used descriptive Writing and great language towards your writing.
Kia Ora Sathvika, Its Cleo here from Totara 3
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your piece of writing about the murder in the building. I liked how you have put what you needed to work on I also liked some of the descriptive language that you have used. Maybe next time you could check that your sentences make sense other wise Good Job!!
From Cleo
Hi Sathvika it is Aoife
ReplyDeleteI think that you did very well with the story but next time you should describe the story more and have more excitement in it.bye.
KIa ora Sathvika. You have written a clever piece of descriptive writing. Make sure you check where capital letters are needed next time before you publish. Keep up your creative writing as I think you enjoy this and will keep up interesting work.
ReplyDelete